Comparison

I like him, but he likes her.

I instantly start seeing just how beautiful she really is.

I look at her and suddenly I see what I don't have.

I never noticed that mole perfectly placed above her lip, but I do now.

Wow, her artistic abilities are admirable, why can't I have talent like that?

She seems so detached while he stares at her in awe, what does she have that I don't?

She is obviously worthier than I am because he likes her more than me.

Suddenly, I hate my broad shoulders and my square body.

I just noticed how undesirable my body looks, though I didn’t really even notice it before.

I have such a big mouth, why the fuck can't I shut up?

She's quiet and doesn't feel the need to prove herself,

How can I be more like that? Why am I not enough?

My efforts to please his eyes feels empty now.

Maybe if I looked good enough you'd look my way, but she has more depth than me.

You like her; She's creative, she's gentle, modestly beautiful. How could you not?

Though physical beauty is not my lack, I feel undesirable, sterile, and internally grotesque.

It's not fair. She's not even trying.

Suddenly there is nothing good about me. Suddenly, I don't see all of the beauty inside of myself.

I suddenly forget that my creativity is expressed verbally, though I feel like that doesn’t matter as much as her creativity for some reason.

I suddenly forget how loving I really am, how empathy is my strength.

I suddenly forgot about my own power, and my own authentic beauty.

I forgot how boldly expressive I am, how unapologetically loud I am.

I was so busy focused on her beauty that I forgot about my own.

It's not that she is any worthier or more beautiful than I am,

It's that my mind thinks she is, and I made all of this up.

I was trying to be like her instead of trying to be more like me.

I cared so much about what I perceived he liked, instead of caring about what I like.

Who the fuck said broad shoulders were undesirable? Was it really me who initiated this concept?

I love my uneven eyebrows, my laugh lines, my curly hair.

Why can’t I? Who told me I had to despise my humanness? Who the fuck said these were flaws?

I love my resiliency, though I am not indestructible.

I accept my shadow, I accept that I just want to be saved sometimes.

I accept that I can be judgemental, I accept that I can be loud and boisterous.

I accept that I can constantly compare myself,

I accept that I am not like you, and you are not like me.

She is beautiful, but so am I.

She is talented and creative, but so am I.

You do not see the flowers comparing themselves to each other,

or the trees judging the other trees for not having as many leaves,

or songbirds for singing louder than each other.

the flowers, trees, and birds may be different colors, textures, sizes, shapes, sing different songs,

but you cannot tell me that they aren't all unique in their beauty.

And despite their differences, they exist - together.

The dreamy, ethereal, view of the twirled shape of a red rose, or the delicate sprout of a lilac as it opens,

the way the willow tree whispers in the wind with it's long, frail vines or the rich smell of a supportive oak tree,

should they be jealous of not having what the other has? Because the songbird decides to build it's nest on the oak tree instead of the willow tree?

Or should the willow tree just simply exist alongside the oak tree? The rose exist along with the lilac?

So why should you change? Simply because you are different than another human? Why can’t you just simply exist alongside other humans, without comparing each others own unique qualities?

Why are we taught to want what we don’t have, and not taught to appreciate what we do have?

Let's just say, I am thankful that nature does not posses a human mind.